Monday, April 03, 2006
don't know what i'm doing...
really think i'm crazy, not sleeping until 3am when i actually was doing nothing but slacking! but luckily today managed to finish math tutorial 9 so this is good enough for me to be still slacking here... and i want to sleep!
and i'm so sad that one used to be my best friend and now she is someone else's best friend. or maybe i was just one-sidedly thinking that she's my best friend? maybe all this is caused by me. if i had gone to the same jc as her, we might still be best friends. but will it be true? if our friendship was concrete enough, we would still be best friends even in different schools. how cruel reality is. she doesn't care to sms me anymore, just say a few words when replying my sms. why do i always not able to keep my friends?!? am i really that bad that no one wants to befriend me? yeah, whatever. WHO CARES ABOUT FRIENDS?!?!?! i'm happy enough to be alone, since i've always been alone since i was BORN. i have to brothers or sisters or friends. just myself, and i've survived through the years. so who cares about friends? they are your friends when you benefit them, you are their enemies when you bring them troubles. ha, that's the cruelty of reality. or maybe in the eyes of others i'm just the same as what i've described them to be. funny, i claim that i don't need friends and i'm complaining about not having friends. what on earth is happening to me?!?!?! think i'm going crazy soon. why is she not by best friend anymore?!?!?! we used to share little secrets, tried to be funny, made a fool of ourselves, do crazy things... and now we don't even TALK. is my fault? yeah, maybe, neither do i call her. but i do sms her. but her replies are so SHORT, as if she's too busy to type much. haha, i don't like smsing and i'm complaining that she doesn't sms me.
so the conclusion is, there is no such thing as 'FRIENDS FOREVER'. it's only a phrase you see on autographs, no where else.
posted @ 4/03/2006 08:44:00 PM