Friday, April 07, 2006
tiredness...
today had the most most most torturing pe ever... ran 3 rounds the track+gallery, then do 20 situps, 20 pushups, 10 dips(?). so tiring that i actually just broke down and shed tears. oh my god, thought i was very strong mentally, but not this time... think i really have to work on mental strenghtening...
posted @ 4/07/2006 08:55:00 PM
Thursday, April 06, 2006
missing them...
i really really really miss my malaysian friends. i really really really wish that i've studied my secondary school in malaysia. i really really really wish that i know everything about my malaysian friends; how they're doing, what they're doing, where they're going. why have i missed secondary school life in malaysia?!? i know i can't turn back time so it's pointless to shout and yell here. but i really regret coming here, to some extent. now all my malaysian friends are leaving ipoh, and i don't know how we're going to meet in future. i even doubt having the chance to meet them. i really wish to go back home... i want my friends!
and suddenly i realise i'm so far apart from my parents, i've started to forget about their presence! i've no idea what to talk to them over the phone, i often forget to call them on weekends, i'm such a lousy person. yeah, no wonder i'm not remembered by anyone, because i can't even remember my own parents! why has this happened? life in singapore really turn me into a heartless person. yeah, i shouldn't blame anyone. whatever... i want my old self back!!! b****y life, i start to hate it. but no worries, since i'm so heartless i'll be able to ignore all sadness's presence and continue living my happy life. so troubles, complications, sadness, get out of my life! you're not welcome at all.
posted @ 4/06/2006 09:58:00 PM
Monday, April 03, 2006
don't know what i'm doing...
really think i'm crazy, not sleeping until 3am when i actually was doing nothing but slacking! but luckily today managed to finish math tutorial 9 so this is good enough for me to be still slacking here... and i want to sleep!
and i'm so sad that one used to be my best friend and now she is someone else's best friend. or maybe i was just one-sidedly thinking that she's my best friend? maybe all this is caused by me. if i had gone to the same jc as her, we might still be best friends. but will it be true? if our friendship was concrete enough, we would still be best friends even in different schools. how cruel reality is. she doesn't care to sms me anymore, just say a few words when replying my sms. why do i always not able to keep my friends?!? am i really that bad that no one wants to befriend me? yeah, whatever. WHO CARES ABOUT FRIENDS?!?!?! i'm happy enough to be alone, since i've always been alone since i was BORN. i have to brothers or sisters or friends. just myself, and i've survived through the years. so who cares about friends? they are your friends when you benefit them, you are their enemies when you bring them troubles. ha, that's the cruelty of reality. or maybe in the eyes of others i'm just the same as what i've described them to be. funny, i claim that i don't need friends and i'm complaining about not having friends. what on earth is happening to me?!?!?! think i'm going crazy soon. why is she not by best friend anymore?!?!?! we used to share little secrets, tried to be funny, made a fool of ourselves, do crazy things... and now we don't even TALK. is my fault? yeah, maybe, neither do i call her. but i do sms her. but her replies are so SHORT, as if she's too busy to type much. haha, i don't like smsing and i'm complaining that she doesn't sms me.
so the conclusion is, there is no such thing as 'FRIENDS FOREVER'. it's only a phrase you see on autographs, no where else.
posted @ 4/03/2006 08:44:00 PM
Sunday, April 02, 2006
hatred...
i suddenly feel like hating myself, hating this world, hating this life...
posted @ 4/02/2006 07:35:00 PM
a sudden surge of sadness...
always feel like friendship is never ever-lasting. you think you can be your friend's best friend even after you leave her, but actually this is not quite true. yes, maybe to some extend she's still your best friend, but this is your own point of view, does she still see you as her best friend? she has made new friends and does not need you anymore. her new friends share more common interests with her than you do, or maybe at the first place, you don't even share any common interests with her. how sad is that! once were very good friends, went through ups and downs, joyfulness and sadness, now are like hi-bye friends. this is the cruelty of life.
posted @ 4/02/2006 04:41:00 PM
random...
wanted to blog about the mgs expresso but just too lazy to write down the event. actually came online yesterday midnight and wanted to blog about the concert but the connection was disrupted so in the end didn't get to post it. argh... have been slacking these days... still have tonnes of work to do, but i'm still here blogging!!! it's time to mug!!! when can i be more disciplined??? better go now or i won't be able to sleep early tonight...
posted @ 4/02/2006 01:13:00 PM